I cared so deeply that I started falling, falling away from the things that I hold dear, falling away from myself, and my innocence. I thought foolishly that you would catch me, care for me, and cherish who I was enough to place me back into my tower to preserve me. But I see now that it is hard for others to value me and who I am If do not value myself enough to uphold the integrity of my own soul. I am a broken girl, with fragments scattered so far and wide that the task of putting myself together seems all too impossible, the vessel that shields my soul is shattered and so I am exposed. Their self-serving fingers tear into the fleshy parts of my spirit and touch the places once guarded, but I let them, hoping they would stop me from letting them, but they continued, because I let them, because I let them, because I let them. And so, I am fallen.
Lost now are the days of peace keeping magic, a fire has been kindled within me, the tender lit by the tip of your arrow.
A blood lust rises inside me, pours out of me, and stains my cheeks.
Anger, hate, rage, all the things I fought so long to protect this world from now consume my every thought…
…I am lost.
Credits:
Robe: FATEplay – Ithron – Fire (I could live in all the FATEplay clothes!)
Hair: !lamb. Thieves Like Us (Mesh) – Chocolate Bars Pack
Tattoo Layers: Corvus : Tired Eyes Makeup – Beat to Shit Tattoo (no clue where its from) – REPULSE – Bloody Tears III Face Tattoo- (I would just like to note there is A LOT of post processing so… yeah.)
Eye- Ok these are my normal IKON eyes, again heavily post processed so they don’t even remotely look like the photo.
Whenever I have a new home in second life I always think about a line from one of Robert Forsts First poems…
“First there’s the children’s house of make-believe, Some shattered dishes underneath a pine, The playthings in the playhouse of the children. Weep for what little things could make them glad.”
[Rober Frost – Directive (1947)]
I think all to often we overlook the little things that enrich our lives, and second life is no exception. We get excited over big releases and tend to overlook the small things that create the whole. My creative style leans more towards those small things, and I always find myself meshing things to set in little cubbies and hang in the odd spaces, the forgotten places that make a house a home. So I tend to get very tickled when I see friends who release adorable trinkets to set around the house, that make it feel lived in and real. So today I raise my glass to those of you who, like me, remember and enjoy the little things that make a house a home.
Credits:
Decorative Box : Kuro – Donna’s box (Limited edition) @ Love Donna Flora
Salt & Pepper Shaker set: Lark – S&P Shaker – Love @ Love Donna Flora
Cacti: Gacha Prizes from a store called GachaYa
Canvas Art: Collage – I Will Love You (Part of a set)
Wall Plates: floorplan. kitsch wall plates
Abacus: Zigana . antique abacus
Table: PILOT – Dollhouse Dining (It was for the doll house he made, I resized it hehehehehehe)
Chairs: [AF] HOMME Chair (Zig Zag)
Box of amazing roses that the beautiful Syliva Oliver gave to me on our first date: [Commoner] A Boxed Dozen / Red Rose Medley
At times I feel like a distant memory in my own mind, my days roll into one another as I watch people carry on with their lives, while I am bitter that what happened stopped my world and not theirs. I forget that I matter, that I still breathe, move, and feel, it’s easier to forget those things, to forget yourself, like some how if you forget you, that they will too. It would be easier that way, because you’re sad and people hate sad people, particularly when you’re sad all the time, an you give false hope when you have good days which makes it that much harder. So you just try to fade away, you stop fighting to have to good days, and you pop a pill and go to sleep, leaving the dishes undone and floors unswept. 12 hours later you wake up grab your stomach and realize nothing has changed, so you cry, “Fuck” is the only thing you can say. People say it takes time, but how much time will people give you, how long before they start talking behind your back, “when will she get over it, it’s been over a month” “I just can’t be around her, shes a downer”. In losing one thing I feel like I might lose everything.
For all the people who have been there for me constantly throughout the past couple months, thank you for standing by me, even when I know it must be hard to.
Credits:
Top: [AUX] Boho Backless – Fist Pump Hunt(GOING ON NOW!)
Jeans: tulip. Alana Jeans (Slate – MESH)
Picture strand: Trompe Loeil – Stringlights With Photos
I ponder as I wander the vast halls of memories within my mind paying in kind to each love I pass.
I am slowly easing back into blogging so forgive my short blurbs of poetry, I am sure as I heal emotionally from my recent upheaval I will get my mojo back and begin to write more and more. But for now I am grateful for whatever beauty comes to mind, even if it’s just a sentence worth.
Credits:
*FEATURED*Chair: Kuro – Cubic chair (COMING SOON Lazy sunday June 23rd)
Peace Light: floorplan. peace marquee light (C88)
Top: Emery – Mesh Striped Pocket Top Regina Pure (FaMESHed)
Maybe May 